Marshal, Mei, Linh, Annabel and Kit

Marshal
Good sentences

1. After scavenging the bin for a few minutes I found a single, lone CD. $2.50! Sweet! I paid and slipped outside.
   I walked faster and faster until I was full sprint. Someone, something was following me. Breathing down my neck. Then, a click. "Don't Move!
2. What i would ask them if i had coffee with them - what the heck was behind you? When was the last time you were “whisked away” ?

5. Suggestion for them - more of a physical description

Mei ~Mei Beaumont
“Many people had missed things just under their noses in the past, and Mei had no intention
of being one."

“Her neighbors were mislead, so she was rather cautious with just talking to them in general.”

• Both sentences display Mei’s sense of superiority over the others by establishing the fact that the people around her were missing things of importance but she does not/would not. In addition, although the sentences do not explicitly address Mr. Evans, Mei could perhaps have information about Mr. Evans’ death due to her apparent connection with ghosts. The sentences convey crucial details about Mei as well as the larger plot.

Linh

• "Okay, I'm ready," Linh said, and for the first time in a while, she had a genuine smile.
• Linh has been assigned a case and now has to prove herself. Shut in her apartment for days, it’s clear that her first priority is work. 
• Whether she will be successful in solving the case and proving herself. 
• The balance between work and good mental health. 
• What are your leads on the Mr. Evan’s case? What do you want from life?
• Give her unique trait: a necklace she always wears, a nervous tick, a saying she uses.

Kit

• “Two hours into the concert and Kit felt nothing but the numbing freedom of the music reverberating through his bones.”
• Kit is afraid for his mother, and Kit hates his father, who left him and his mother when he was young.
• Whether Kit will forgive his father, or even how he will interact with him. Also if Kit will have enough courage to confront his mother.
• Why are you afraid for your mother? Why has your dad returned?
• More talk of why he dislikes his father